Surround Yourself With Supportive Individuals
While our area of expertise is weight loss and wellness, today’s topic applies to ANY situation when you are working towards achieving a goal. You need positive supportive folks in your corner. All of the others - the joy suckers, energy vampires, Debbie Downers, negative nellies, and naysayers - they don't have a place here. In fact, avoid them as much as possible!
The truth is that it is very rare that people achieve goals solely on their own; there is always usually someone along that way who offers support, encouragement, and praise - they believe in your goal, and they believe in you. Napoleon Hill called this a "Mastermind Group". Your Mastermind Group helps you work towards your goals and provides you with the information and encouragement you need. Who is currently in your Mastermind Group? Who do you want to be in your Mastermind Group that is not already? The group can be comprised of friends, family, neighbors, professionals with the information or access to information you need to be successful, or anyone to offer sound, educated, positive advice and encouragement who genuinely has your best interests in mind. Surround yourself with these individuals.
On the flip side, there do seem to be an oddly large amount of people who, for some reason or another, are not supportive of you. It can almost seem like they actually appear to be working against you! We mentioned them in the first paragraph and some of you may have some other more colorful names to describe these individuals as well. From the perspective of weight loss and in our professional experience of 33 years, we caution our clients to be on the lookout for the creature that seeks to sabotage your efforts. These particular individuals are called "feeders". Feeders have many faces; they can be any age, male or female, known well hardly at all - but they all share one common goal: to sabotage your weight loss efforts. How successful they are is up to you. So, it's essential to spend time with individuals who truly support you in your dreams, goals, and efforts to lose weight. Use their support to draw burning determination from those attempting to thwart your efforts. One way to actualize this is to imagine that every attempt the feeders make is fueling your determination fire. The brighter and hotter it burns, the more determined you are to succeed. Keep in mind, too, that feeders have their own determination and motivations as well. Though, many times their efforts to sabotage occur at a subconscious level. That's right, sometimes our feeders don't even realize what they are doing!
Let's look a little closer at some of the reasons "why feeders do what they do":
- Often, feeders don’t want to look at their own weight and health issues, and your weight loss is an unwanted reflection back on them of what they still need to do
- Sometimes they are jealous that you are taking action when they have been thinking of the same thing for months, or possibly years.
- They are concerned that they may not be the identified “fit” or “skinny” person in the group anymore - you are now their competition.
- They believe that "love" is spelled "F-O-O-D", and this is how these individuals express their love for you. If you are not eating their love, they feel rejected, unwanted, or inadequate.
- They don’t want to lose their eating/drinking/indulging buddy. You were always the one who would try the desserts, have the extra helping with them, and go out with them for drinks and bar food. Now, they are faced with the question of "who am I going to go out with?"
For many feeders, it comes down to the realization that they are not in control. Who is? YOU are. You are in control with a burning desire to succeed. Don't let anyone stop you!
Now that we know who and why feeders are, here are some tips and tricks for staying strong and in control during difficult or challenging situations. This tips have been adapted from Dr. Wayne W. Dyer. Dr. Dyer has written many motivational and self-help books including, "Pulling Your Own Strings" and "Your Erroneous Zones,":
- Avoid letting others make you feel guilty about your commitment to losing weight and being healthy (remember, this is your goal and each attempt fuels your determination fire!).
- Avoid being seduced by the efforts of victimizers to sabotage your weight-loss program (again, think FIRE, FIRE, FIRE and burning desire to succeed!).
- Plan in advance what you might say when in a challenging situation pertaining to food. For example, think ahead about what to say if someone is encouraging you to eat something that will impede your weight-loss goals at a restaurant, party, work function or friend's house. Practice assertive sentences.
- Say "no" when appropriate. People respect a firm no.
- "Accept the simple fact that many won't ever understand you, and that is OK ... You can refuse to argue or try to convince anyone of the rightness of your stance and simply believe it."
- Commit to your goals. "You can do anything you set your mind to accomplish. You are strong, capable and not the least bit brittle."
So, with this knowledge that you are equipped with a Mastermind Group, a radar for saboteurs and a method to turn destruction into construction and burning desire, go forth and achieve the goals you have set in front of you! You are capable. You are powerful. You are worthy!
Ready to make a change, but unsure of where to start? Weight Loss Specialists at MRC are here and ready to help. From recipe ideas to lifestyle changes, our team of professionals has the knowledge you need to achieve every health and weight goal set before you. Connect with an MRC Coach today to learn more!
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