The Secret to Loving Yourself
Would you ever let your best friend, spouse, or children say any of these things to you: “You’re so stupid!" "You’re never going to achieve that, you should just give up!” “I can’t believe you did that, you ruined everything!" Of course not! Then, why on earth do we talk to ourselves like this?!? We are all probably guilty of shaming ourselves in the privacy of our own minds from time to time (or maybe even out loud for others to hear!). And it’s this type of “negative self-talk” that gets us into trouble and sets us up for not only feeling badly about ourselves but also failing to meet our goals. We set the stage of our lives, and it's important that we have a postiive, healthy, strong stage to stand on.
So, what do we do? How do we learn to love ourselves just the way we are?
There are three factors that contribute to your self-concept and your degree of self-love:
- How you SEE yourself – We all compare ourselves to others and we use things like our physical appearance, how smart we think we are, the attributes we have and our skill set to determine what our “image” is. If you have a negative view of yourself, you will tend to match and therefore precipitate that image by the way you choose to live your life. In order to improve the way you see yourself, focus on what’s awesome about YOU! Use the statement, “At my best, I’m...” to guide yourself in acknowledging the things that make you special and worthwhile.
- What you SAY to yourself — Stop talking to yourself like you are your worst enemy! Eliminate what we call, “junk talk.” This type of talk only serves to bring you down; instead, replace your negative, disparaging vocabulary with a positive spin. For example, instead of saying “I’ve never done this before...I’m probably going to royally screw it up!” spin it positively with something like, “I am a competent person and this is just an opportunity to learn something new!”
- What you BELIEVE about yourself — As the Little Engine That Could would say, “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!” What you believe about yourself goes hand in hand with what you tell yourself. That Little Engine had the right idea. What you tell yourself over and over again, over time, becomes your reality.
So, what’s the secret to loving yourself? Tell yourself how wonderful you are! Every. Single. Day.
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